'Nenni!' said the Cat. 'I am the Cat who walks by
herself, and
all places are alike to me. I will not come.'"
slightly adapted from Rudyard Kipling, "The Cat Who Walked By Himself" Just-So
Stories
What kind of slave am I? Why slave and not sub? Labels are difficult, as they are very subjective to each individual, but I definitely identify as slave more than submissive, which I'll attempt to explain later as I add more to this site. Although unowned, I consider myself M/s Lifestyle. I do lean towards Leather, although I am not in the Leather community. But my only training has been Master Taino's female slave training at Master Taino's Training Academy this spring up in DC (I was in the 5th female slave training class, and have the distinction of being the 200th student to attend the Academy since its beginning! hehehe), and the Lifestyle books/material that I resonate to the most in my self-guided studies, are those written by Leather authors; Robert Rubel in particular (see the My Library link below). I'm open to a poly (polyamory) situation (I am definitely alpha, not beta), and I have a strong "kitty" side that likes to be petted and stroked and scritched while she purrrrrrrrrs. I also have a little-explored feral side that has recently been struggling to find expression.
I keep an extensive journal of my journey to slavehood and my various thoughts and ruminations about various and sundry issues regarding the lifestyle, and even just some fun stuff now and then :) My journal is found on LiveJournal. In fact, journaling is one of my major mechanisms/strategies for learning, adjusting, finding ways that I can be a better sub/slave, and formulating my stance on various issues affecting the D/s, M/s and indeed the larger BDSM community.
Speaking of the local Lifestyle community, I am very heavily involved in this. I am fortunate to be "out" to everyone, including my family, employer, 'nilla friends... goodness, even my bank manager knows! lol. I do believe (very) strongly in education, networking and outreach. You might say that in my own small way I try to be an activist, because I do believe so strongly that we need people who can be visible in our community if we're ever going to overcome the stereotypes, the misinformation, the stigma of what it is that we do.
Note: This is a brand-new webpage, and I'm still struggling with how to set it up and organize the things I want to put in it, so bear with me :)
A little about the journey:
It’s been a 14-year journey to get to where I am now, and the last
year and a half have been definitely rocky as I went from being a lifestyle Fem
Domme, to being submissive, to finally finding my identity as a slave in this
lifestyle. I owe a great debt to my friends song and red for seeing me through
the bouts of depression, the struggles with self-doubt, the insecurities,
weeping spells, midnight phone calls, you name it. Really, they put up with a
lot as I came to terms with my submissive/slave nature. I also owe a lot to my
first mentor, who set me on the road to reading, and journaling my
impressions, thoughts and feelings about what I read. This, of course, is a
mixed blessing.... I discovered that journaling really works for me as a
learning tool, and that was all my OCD nature needed to take off at Mach 3. In
the beginning, this reading and exploration *caused* a lot of the angst
mentioned above as I struggled to deny, and then accept, my own nature. Once I
got past that, however, the journaling has taken over my life, LOL. Seriously! I
wake in the night with various thoughts that had been whirling aimlessly,
suddenly coalescing into a coherent whole, and I’d get out of bed and race
upstairs to my computer to get them written down while they were fresh in my
mind. Next, I began sleeping with my laptop next to my bed. Then thanks to my
friend angel, I learned about digital hand-held recorders, and now I have that
at my bed at night... much easier than having to sit up and type, I can just lay
in bed and dictate sleepily, then go back to sleep, and in the morning upload
the file to my computer and transcribe it. I also carry it in my purse, for when
I’m away from home and have a sudden thought.
Since this page was created on December 1, 2007, you are visitor:
Last updated: 07/11/2008
