CatWhoWalksAlone - What I'm Seeking

What am I seeking? An experienced lifestyle Master... one familiar with or part of Leather is preferred but not a deal-breaker. I'm relatively new to submission myself (1-1/2 years), and I've been to Master Taino's female slave training and am attending the Master/slave Conference in DC August 7-10. I am hoping to find someone as much into the community service aspect as I am; education and outreach, etc. I'm co-Director of the newly forming (not yet official) MAsT Charlotte. I'm visible and active in my local BDSM as well as D/s community here in Greensboro. I enjoy both reading and writing about lifestyle aspects of WIITWD. Yes, I am an intellectual, and after the high compliment I received this weekend, I will never again apologize for "thinking too much" or worry about being "clueless" :)

My interests are in the areas of protocol/structure, communication/transparency, obedience/service. I am a strong, independent, dominant woman in my own right; I crave to submit fully to a Master who is MORE strong, MORE dominant than myself, and yet I remain equally capable of standing strong by my Master's side in times of turmoil or trouble. I have a fantastic and slightly off-beat, sometimes whacky sense of humor. And I sing (ear plugs advised). I'm not masochist, a brat or a SAM. I hope to find a Master who revels in the fact that I am who I am, and is proud to be the owner of such a woman who submits completely to Him and ONLY to Him!

While I enjoy some BDSM play, I am not a masochist and have no particular interest in pain and none at all in physical punishment (I am not a SAM). I'd far rather do my best to be good and know my Master is pleased with me! and if my best is not good enough, I'd rather my Master helped me to overcome whatever faults I had so that I could be better for him, because he wants me to succeed as his slave, as much as I want that. I'm very sensual/tactile, and love being touched/stroked/caressed, and I hope-hope-hope to find a Master who is a "toucher." All that being said, I am very inexperienced as far as BDSM play, and "processing pain" is just a phrase to me, and it may as well be Swahili for all that I understand what it means. In most of my experience, pain is just pain, it hurts, I want it to stop (NOW!) and I don't want it to start again. Which pretty much rules me out as a masochist. At the same time, I do enjoy a nice heavy, thuddy flogger :) Also well as fire play and suspension. But as Master Taino points out, the BDSM play *enhances* the relationship. It is not the basis of a Master/slave relationship. At least, not the kind of M/s relationship that I'm seeking.

Regarding poly: While I am a strong advocate for polyamory, I am have VERY strong/particular requirements (yes! I did say *requirements*!) before I would agree to enter a poly relationship; that is, the Master has to know What The Hell he's doing. Sorry if that sounds un-slave like (if you really ARE poly, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about and not take offence at my manner in this regard), but that's where I stand on it. In general I consider myself an alpha slave, highly capable of taking control of Master's household and running it equitably for everyone, in the Master's best interest. It would have to be a very special situation for me to accept a non-alpha position in a poly household.

I am studying hard and learning, and continue to do so as I learn more about my slave self, and my wants and needs as a slave. And if you don't think a slave should have wants and need, then you need to move right on down the line and look at some other slave, because I don't buy that line of reasoning. I certainly respect your right to believe that and live your lifestyle that way; but it's not for me.

Below is the profile I posted on Collarme and Alt in 2007. I like it, so I'm posting it here!

'Nenni!' said the Cat. 'I am the Cat who walks by herself, and all places are alike to me. I will not come.'"

Okay, so it's time. Today, October 5, 2007, at 7:15 a.m., it is time to begin the search to find a Master. This is my first real attempt at such in 12 years, so this profile will be an ongoing process, do bear with me as I figure things out. First of all, he must be LOCAL... within driving distance of Greensboro. This is not negotiable, since I've just purchased a home here and am no longer open to relocation. And I want a REAL Master: real-life, real-time, really here... Not a part-time Dom, a “drive-by” Dom (i.e., “I’m in your area twice a month”), not a weekend play partner or a cyber Master. But a Master to love, adore and serve.... IN PERSON! To be owned be, to be collared. So local, please, or the ability and willingness to relocate to Greensboro, NC, in at least the near-foreseeable future.

"Cat went far and far away and hid herself in the Wet Wild Woods by her wild lone for a long time till the Man forgot all about her."

This being said, I'm not really sure where to start. I have been Domme for the past 12 or more years, and my submissive nature only emerged about 6 months ago… rather a shock. I see myself as a “deep” submissive, with potential to be a slave, definitely pet tendencies, and maybe the occasional “girl,” although I’m definitely not seeking a Daddy. I find being submissive allows me to “open up” and be fun, and I love more than anything to make my Master smile, even if it my antics might earn for me a swat on the butt now and then, it’s worth it to see the smile on His face :)

I guess you should know right away that I am NOT a masochist. You know those cute little blings on alt that say "OUCH is not a safeword"? well... it is mine and my hard limit, too! ;) So, obviously, I'm not seeking a sadist; no spanking, paddles, gags, crops, whips, shovels and rakes and implements of destruction. At last, not hard ***grin*** I have recently experienced some scening with floggers and a dragontail and some knife play, and totally loved it, but I am never going to be a pain slut, as I am more into the “sensation” and a Dom who is very sadistic would not, in the end, be completely fulfilled with me as his only sub. Of course, if you're a sadist and also own or otherwise have at your command a pain slut, this is (negotiably) not a problem for me; as with everything, it would depend on the situation. Poly is definitely negotiable. (If you are married and your wife doesn't know... that is NOT poly, and just 2 words sum things up: Forget It!)

In the words of my sub friend girl4one (***smoochies, and thank you!***), it’s about Power and Control: “HE has the control and power, He has learned her, understands her, accepts her, guides her, teaches her, and takes her...and in that her only desire is to serve Him..” Yes! I so long for a Master to whom I can give over control with a sigh of relief, to know that I am safe in His care, to know that I am Owned, His, valued and treasured for who I am. He would be the center of my world, and (hard limits notwithstanding), I would do almost anything for Him because he is my Master.

"I am the Cat who walks by herself, and all places are alike to me. Why should I not go too and see and look and come away at my own liking."

In regards to submission itself, this is rather difficult for me, as I'm not sure how to explain what is in my heart and soul. I am what I think could be considered a "deep" submissive... with the right Master I believe I could easily be a slave. My submission is based first in sexuality/sensuality, but I am not a "bedroom submissive." I am highly sensual, but it takes someone quite special to be able to tap into that sensuality, and thus command my submission. He has to be seriously a Breast Man, as this is what really revs my motor like nothing else. And above all, he has to take CONTROL of me sexually; to know and take what He wants, when He wants it. I respond very well to sensual and erotic control, and He knows that the more He TAKES control, the deeper my submission to Him goes, heightening my own response to Him. This high-powered sensuality can't really be negotiable, because the sex HAS to be good, has to be right, or nothing else will work right either, because I am never, ever again entering into a relationship, even a Master/sub relationship, where my needs are ignored, not met, where I am left unmoved and just feeling... used. Now don't get me wrong, being "used" can be quite hot, in the right circumstances (and I do respond well to being used... um.... {{{clearing throat}}} ahem {{{glancing around nervously, before whispering: rough}}}). Okay, moving on real quick ;) My overpowering need is that I know my Master is as hot for me as I am for Him; more, I have to KNOW that He desires me, that He finds me sexy and arousing, and yes, sometimes so aroused that He doesn't ask but just has to TAKE what He wants!

My submission, although founded in sexuality, once given, goes far, far deeper than sexually. My Master will be loved, adored, One whom I could look up to, obey; One whom I could full-heartedly give myself into His keeping. 24/7 would be ideal, although I don't know how or if that could work, given that I have my own home now; but just as wonderful with my Master and I living in the same city so that we could be together as constantly as work and other schedules allow (I do work 10-hour days). I still would want TPE; my Master would be my anchor, my Rock of Gibralter, my port in a storm. He would always be there for me, as I would always be there for Him. A Master whom I could respect and look to for guidance when I am troubled, a Master whose load I could lighten by making Him laugh, whose burdens could be lessened by sharing them with His slave, letting me pamper and care for Him as I yearn to do.

"And she went back through the Wet Wild Woods waving her wild tail, and walking by her wild lone. But she never told anybody."

I have a growing phone sex business that I enjoy tremendously (especially helpful for me right now as I am abstinent, not liking “casual” sex), and I have a definite exhibitionist streak that loves to show off on cam and photos. I am sexually extremely submissive, and vanilla sex just never worked for me. I *need* the D/s dynamic in place in order to respond best. Nor does that mean with every Dom who walks by... this is something I want to have with MY MASTER, or to explore it with a Master who is seriously considering me as his slave and I'm equally interested in him.

"I am not a friend, and I am not a servant. I am the Cat who walks by herself, and I wish to come into your cave."

In the end, it is about CONTROL, in every way, sexually, mentally, emotionally and physically. I am both strong and Dominant...even, in some ways, feral, in personality and character. My strong preference is that my Master be experienced in this lifestyle, has lived it, and knows what it is about. My Master would have to be MORE strong, MORE Dominant, to capture my submission. I would never try to dominate my Master, nor would I attempt to try... I wouldn’t want to even think I could dominate Him! If I could, then He is not the Master for me. I have recently been learning to top others, and while this is definitely not something that I'm attached to, I see the potential for fun in helping my Master to scene with others, or even to have him be pleased with His slave to top others... maybe, even, to have Him be proud of me... proud, too, to be the Owner of an independent, intelligent, strong-willed woman who is tamed by no one else, who answers only to Him, and who calls only Him, "Master."

"And when the moon gets up and night comes, she is the Cat that walks by herself, and all places are alike to her. Then she goes out to the Wet Wild Woods or up the Wet Wild Trees or on the Wet Wild Roofs, waving her wild tail and walking by her wild lone."

Credit (and apologies) to Rudyard Kipling, "The Cat Who Walked By Himself" Just-So Stories

Yes, I am admittedly and openly poly. I'm also an alpha, with terrific organizational skills. That being said... If you claim to be poly, you'd better damned well know what you are doing, and since I AM poly, you're not going to be fooling me into thinking you are if you're think this is about you living out some male wanker fantasy. Sorry to sound un-sub-like about that, but this is MY life too that we're talking about, and I'm not in the least inclined to put my emotional and physical well-being on the line by entering into a "poly" relationship that is anything BUT poly! A well-thought-out, intentional poly family with 1 or 2 sister-slaves would be wonderful. Dodging bullets, complaints and manipulations from those coerced or cheated or otherwise unhappy, is SO not what poly is about! A successful poly relationship is WORK, requiring intentionality and LOTS of communication amongst all parties concerned. And while I'm on a roll here, if you think poly and free sex or swinging are synonymous, you can move along to the next profile also.

Something you should know: I will not pursue a Dom, no matter how interested I might be in him. I will not approach him, nor stalk him. I may, if the opportunity arises and I am comfortable doing so, find some way to express my interest. IF he does not follow up on that, however, I will assume that my interest is not returned. I have plenty of self-esteem, and honestly? I think I'm a good catch for a Master seeking a total submissive to collar for His own. But let's be realistic here. There are many of the "beautiful people" in this Lifestyle, especially here in Greensboro. I'm not one of them. Many men want a "prize" on their arm, a gorgeous or exotic or sexy woman, for possession of whom other Doms will envy him. I may be faithful, obedient, loving, very submissive to my Master and completely devoted, and (if I do say so, VERY erotic ;) )... but I am NOT eye candy. Nor am I everybody's cuppa tea. SO! Bottom line: If You want me, You're going to have to come up to me, at La Fortress or Serendipity or TECKC or a Munch, grab me by the hair and make me look you in the eyes, and say, "I want you as My slave. Let's go somewhere and talk."

FREE TO GOOD HOME

Older but cute bbw slave/pet for Master with a great sense of humor and lots of patience :) Housebroken and (reasonably) domesticated. No formal obedience training but makes up for this with enthusiasm and an immense need to please her Master. Combines feline attributes of tactile sensuality, purrs and Tigger-ish playfulness, with canine traits of fierce loyalty, devotion, eagerness to please and exuberance. Occasional flashes of mule-like stubbornness and Baskerville-like temper can be overcome with careful handling... Owner may find fireproof gloves helpful. A rather distressing feline-ish independence, combined with a somewhat OCD type nature, outstanding organizational skills and total identification with Master’s interests, make this slave a great potential to be alpha bitch. Not suitable as beta; plays nice with litter mates, but resists being "bossed around" by such, and will obey only Master. Adoring and affectionate, kitty loooooooves to be petted, scritched and stroked, and will purr contentedly for hours.

Slave is self-supporting and comes with her own home and career and felines of the furry sort. Although seeking M/s, slave is mortgage-bound to Greensboro for the foreseeable future. Therefore 24/7 TPE although desired is open to compromise/negotiation. Master should live within reasonable driving distance.

New to submission but not the Lifestyle, this new-found passionate slave nature is cautious and a little shy, but yearns to be coaxed out and captured by a strong, experienced, dominant Master who can command her trust and respect.